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Thursday, January 11th, 2007

Time:12:09 pm.
Mood: optimistic.

Weird.  I wouldn't know where to start.. (like I ever do haha) 
My life has been crazy lately.. MUCH different from this time last year.  I feel so much opportunity now, and freedom.  (No, this is not about being 21)  It's really kind of funny how much less you actually drink once you become of legal age to do so.  

I have a 'studio' again.. a much better setup than I had before..so I'm free to just go in and press buttons and make things happen on my own, which is a very pleasing thought.  I've been beginning to video edit as well.  Hopefully I can start some more projects from scratch.  I'm working on a few right now of some videos off of my video camera.  We now have 2 video cams so if anyone has project ideas and wants to come play.. come on!  

I've been running the past few days.  My legs hurt really bad, heh.  :/  I realized how different running and bicycling are.  Even when riding 10+ miles everyday, running will still kick your ass.  It's a nice feeling when you get home and you're completely physically torn down and you try to push yourself to do more.  Some may not think that's a nice feeling but I like to feel like it's worth it to push yourself sometimes.  
Last night Kelly and I watched this movie, Without Limits, about Steve Prefontaine (a runner in the 70's who broke world records in college to go on to compete in the Olympics only to lose to a douchey Fin that looked like Abe Lincoln.  Later he died in a car crash going to a party, before he got a chance to go back and compete again)  I liked the movie a lot.  I almost cried at the end.  I didn't know anything about the guy before I watched it.  It gives you great respect for someone who could run a 4 min mile.  That's ridiculous.  I am no runner and could probably never do that but damn, that'd be cool.  
Oh yeah, and his coach, Bill Bowden, invented Nike shoes.  WEIRD.  

I've been also thinking about the fact that I kinda want to finish college.  Thinking I could probably just bust ass for a few more years and finish but I still don't know what I want to do in life, fully.  There are about a thousand things I could do that I dabble in.. well, maybe not a thousand things that I dabble in but a lot that I might want to.  I just change so much and want so many different things.  I can't even imagine living in one place for more than a few years..  

I'm sure I can figure this out at some point, I just need a sense of urgency I guess.

I'll go drink more coffee. 

Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

Subject:Erin's Outlook
Time:2:19 pm.
Mood: refreshed.
So I have to get this out

I AM HAPPY and I am thankful.  I feel free of the wretched emotional entanglements that had plagued my year and past few years (yeah it sounds harsh, but "wretched emotional entanglement" is the definite 'aftermath' feeling that I got).  I feel much more myself, creative, alive, well, healthy, ambious, etc etc etc.  I think I might move away sometime next year, after I go against my normal Gemini instincts and PLAN.  I love love love this feeling of somewhat detachment of being sooooo wrapped up in someone that I can't see clearly the way I was acting, what it is that I'm doing/did/going to do with my life. 

I don't regret anything, at all.  I believe everything in life is an experience and an experience well worth to be had, but it's been time for me to have gotten back on track and be me.  I realized I had been in a few serious relationships for like the past 3 years straight almost.  (none within the past 6 months but still.. )  I've definitely had my time to reflect, grow and, not forget, but move on.. move on in the right direction, taking the steps to better and further my life.
  
I've fallen in love over and over again with my passions in life and it's been probably the greatest feeling.. If I end up falling in love romantically again, then so be it.  Sometimes I miss the feeling, but with it also comes a lot as well.  If I was 'set' with my life, then I'd say 'love come and get me' but I'm not.  I'm 21 years old and have too many dreams... all that I'll strive for as much as my little heart can muster, but I have those dreams and I can't let them live me down. 
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 6th, 2006

Time:9:51 pm.
Mood: enthralled.
I had recently bought "The Girl Next Door" (unrated version) and it got here the other day... I just watched it again (I saw it in the theatre 2 years ago) and OH MY GOSH, it made me want to be in love so bad.  I just miss that feeling.  Oh I can't even explain it!  sigh..

I forgot how cute and sweet that movie is, despite all of the porn and whatnot.  I was smiling SO much while I was watching it, GEEEZ!  I'm being such a girl 

someday..  

:) 

edit:
I think I've come to realize love is the best thing.  When you have the real thing, you're complete in many ways..and when you don't, there's just this feeling of 'empty' somewhere.  It's weird.. I miss my heart jumping and feeling a connection through someone else's eyes.  I'm even smiling while typing this.. I really believe there is someone out there for everyone.  

Yay for feelings like this.  Yay for life!  
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006

Subject:Saturday Dinner Party Wine-o Night!
Time:5:29 pm.

What:  Dinner Party (I'm cooking and providing food, drinks, my favorite music and my quirky self)

Where:  Casa de Jeffreys'

Date:  Saturday 08/05/06

Time:  7:00 pm ish..  pm ish is a word. 

What to bring:  Bring your fucking self and dress semi-formal, because it's cool and I get to wear my new suit.    :)  Oh and if you want to bring some other food or drink, it's cool too. 

I love hosting mmmm :)

Comments: Read 11 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, July 31st, 2006

Subject:A narrated NYC picture post
Time:1:30 pm.
Mood: determined.
Well to start things off.. I had never been on a plane before in my life.. kinda weird considering my dad's job... Anyways, I finally got my ass out of bed at 4am (when we were supposed to leave by 4:30am) but for some reason I over slept.. (it could've been all of those sleeping pills haha) Anywho.. I RAN to the shower, bathed myself, splashed a ton of water in my face to try and wake the fuck up, got out, put on makeup, got dressed, finished packing and ate some goood ol eggs and coffee and jetted out the door with Bobby J.  
It was so dark.
We made it to the airport with time to spare, because I had already checked into my flight online, so all I had to do was go through security and wait at the gate for boarding.  I had 2 carry on bags cause I didn't feel like having to wait for baggage pickup and hope it didn't end up in Africa somewhere.  
We departed for the 36 minute flight to Atlanta, GA at 6:00am. 
This is right before take off and the "turning off of all electronic devices"


While I was there:

-I saw one of my biggest inspirations (Damien Rice)
-I just realized there are no pictures of Fiona Apple but she was good also.. she seems a little off her rocker though.  I like it.  She's a great live performer though.. very expressive with her voice.
-The subway:  When you walk down in the subway it basically feels like you're walking down into the hottest sauna while you're in your nice business suit and you can't escape it until the train comes... The train is another story.  Just imagine the most riggity, rollercoaster that you're unsure of getting onto but you have to... and you can't even see ahead of you.. you just ride.. and it travels so fast, but hey, at least you have hand rails to hold onto.  :)
-Every cafe/deli/pizza place that we ate at had good food.  The pizza in NYC is mucho yummy!
-The people are very nice.. even in the Bronx.  Marisa and I had left Gabbie's house in the Bronx on Thursday morning and were taking the bus to the subway and were a bit lost.  So these 2 or 3 black ladies were like ALLL over helping us.  They were like "we'll let ya know when you get off, don't worry.. see, we New Yorkers aren't all bad.  We get a bad rap but we're really nice!"  It's true.  They were very helpful and seriously.. I never had an uncomfortable feeling the whole time I was there.  Maybe I just got lucky but it just seemed like everyone was going their own way and had places to go, people to see and things to do.  People there aren't too concerned with what you're doing.  I kinda like there a lot.  You all go your own way.  (I'm going to now site the Fleetwood Mac song "go your own way" because I'm cool).
-Chinatown = it smells really bad there.
-Little Italy = good.
-We never found Little India.  I was supposed to so I could tell Eddie that I went there.
-Canal St = a bunch of the same things.. glasses, jewelry, hats, stolen cd players haha not really, tshirts, etc
-Pick-a-bagel is a nice little chain of cafe's... they have good food and good prices.. I love bagels and coffee.. and they have more than that as well.  Mmmm, I already miss it.  
-Also, I have to add that the street musicians (down in the subways too) are GREAT.  They're so good.. I'm always very impressed with violin players and there were a handful of them and they were all good...and on the street.  In this dead town you can hardly find a good drummer or guitar player..
-You do not need a car for this city and that's pretty rad... the subway is pretty rad.  $24 unlimited pass for a week.  Hell, just riding the subway all day is something to do.
-This experience has really changed me.  I'm now even more determined than I was before.. (about doing what I really want to do in life and making it happen).  I am amped.. and ready to go.  

wow...

All in all:

I fucking loved it.  I loved the constant confusion of everyone living their busy lives: the reluctant honking and constant hustle and bustle of business people among the homeless and penniless musicians.  

And you really don't realize how small and petty your differences or problems may be until you get to a city like that.. It's a much needed slap in the face and inspiration to do better things.

I give the big apple a big thumbs up


and I'm going back in December.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, July 30th, 2006

Subject:New York City was amazing.
Time:4:58 pm.
Mood: thankful.

There are tons of pictures and a million will be tattooed in this head of mine.   


It made me re-evaluate my whole life.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

Time:3:21 pm.
Mood: creative.
Yeah, I totally made this every bit FROM SCRATCH... even the dough!  

So when I return from New York City, I'm hosting a dinner party and anyone is welcome.  I'll be cooking up some of these pizzas and other stuff. 



: )
Comments: Read 8 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, July 21st, 2006

Time:11:06 pm.
Mood: anxious.
I love it that I'm going to see Damien Rice and Fiona Apple.


Cause they're amazing and both have last names of food items.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, July 20th, 2006

Subject:James and I scream like girls at the lightning
Time:4:45 pm.
Mood: busy.

Today was one of the scariest days at work ever!  Besides when that old man asked me which car scent turned me on. 

 

I'm halfway through soundproofing my room.

Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, July 18th, 2006

Subject:Fixing to hit the hay!
Time:9:10 pm.
Mood: tired.

I just did a damn survery cause I'm about to go to sleep.  Going to gym it up with Liria again in the morning 8:30am.  I don't look forward to waking up that early (like f-ing 7:30am) but I feels so good to work it out that early.  Then I have to work at 10 though.  
I'm so glad I leave soon.  Wooo!

I love Prince and Madonna.. and Bob Saget.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, July 15th, 2006

Subject:I haven't forgotten.
Time:10:15 pm.
Mood: exhausted.

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"  from Lifehouse "Everything"

So I just came across that song on someone's playlist and WOW, I haven't heard it in a while, but when I did... man oh man.  It's crazy how songs can evoke so much emotion from you.. by association of their meaning and the time and whatnot..


Today was ROUGH SEAS!  

I came home and CRASHED.. I didn't fall asleep but my energy was at an all time low..  I'm about to go to sleep hopefully.  I'm soooo tired.

Tomorrow I might be doin 50 + miles or so.  I should probably get a good nights sleep.. then band practice hopefully.  :)  Damnit I love music!  Music is my unexplainable love.  I don't get it.. or how it gets me...we just get each other I guess.  

Goodnight, all of you  :)
 

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, July 14th, 2006

Subject:Random survey I found
Time:11:25 pm.
Tired of all of those stupid surveys made by High School kids?

'Have you ever kissed someone?'
'missed someone?'
'told someone you love them?'
'drank alcohol?'

Here are some questions for some people who are a little more mature... ok, old folks like us.


1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
I don't pay bills, HA!  Well.. my cell phone bill is lame. 

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
In tha back uh ma pickup, bitch.  
REALLY, someplace nice, clean, quiet and not surrounded by an assload of people and babies.

3. Last time you Puked from Drinking?
My 21st birthday!  How shitty...

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I don't need to be drunk to dance on a bar.. or dance in my wetsuit to the baywatch theme song in slow motion.

5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
Mrs. shit.. I forgot. 

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Back out on my bicycle.. getting rid of this ridiculous headache.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A rock supa star, big house.. but minus the 5 cars.. I'll take 5 road bikes. 

8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled on the one from which you graduated?
Um, I'm currently enrolled in the 2nd college but not yet graduated. 

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
I wanted a white shirt to wear while I dried my hair and before I got in bed.  I have NO CLUE as to why I picked through my black ones to get the last white one.. I'm weird.

10. Gas Prices! First thought?
Well, considering the fact that one of my modes of transportation takes about $7 to fill up and lasts me like a week and a half and then the other (cannondale) takes only the fuel that I eat/drink.  
I'm doin good with gas prices. 

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go and who?
Hmm, I love the sound and idea of New York City and I'm about to go there in a few weeks to check it out, so I'll get back to that question. 

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Where the fuck is my phone?!  Make it stop!  Wait, YAY I'm going to ride my bike!

13. Last thought before falling asleep last night?
I wonder what new tires I'm going to need to buy..

14. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
I really don't have any.. It's annoying to have to go deposit money at the bank everyday BUT I dig the bank girl.

15. If you didn't have to work, what would you do?
Work on/finish Elyse Therose's new cd, set up a ton of shows (in the process currently), grab Sarah and go, bicycle across America, backpack in Europe, hike the appalachian trail (next year with Maria?), move to NYC probably.. (get a loft)   

16. Get up early or sleep in?
Get the hell up early.. I hate the initial "getting up and out of bed" but it makes one feel so good to get a ton of stuff done in the morning, go to work and have more time afterward to do whatever..

17. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
Huh?  Probably road runner cause he's hilarious and fast and such a quick thinker.

18. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy is?
Drink coffee, wander around in the woods haha, be crafty, wrestle, midnight swimmer's club!

19. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
One thing comes to mind and I think like 1 person knows.  
Tennis ball... ok so I can laugh about it now.

20. What was your First Car?
1995 Acura Integra LS Special Edition (DAMN, that bitch was NIIIICCE)  Too bad my retarded ass totalled it within 2 months.  I cried.

21. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
Mesquite Turkey Breast.  DAMN. mmmmm x pi

22. What do you get everytime you go into a Walmart?
I don't go to Walmart anymore..

23. Beach Or Lake?
Beach.. But I've done my fair share of swimming, kneeboarding and skiing in lakes.  I've seen some monsterous snakes.

24. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
Not at all.

25. Who do you Stalk on myspace?
Honestly, I go on there sometimes to see kinda what's been happenin.. but mostly it's a whole bunch of nothing.  So I stick to messages.

26. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
Food wise: probably chocolate or pizza, because I love both..

27. Favorite Movie you wouldnt want anyone to find out about?
Josie and the Pussycats is probably one of them.. I really love stories like that.. It's so damn cheesy.  I NEVER liked it for Rachel Leigh Cook.

28. What's your drink?
I don't have a "drink" anymore.  Wait, no no .. my drink: WATER!

29. Cowboys or Indians
I've noticed that I've had a thing for the Indians in the past..

30. Cops or Robbers?
Hmm..

31. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
Maybe the underdog sometimes.

32. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
I wouldn't say any of them.. though we'd probably get along haha.  Tiffy would say, "Erin, you ARE Melissa Etheridge"  And then I punch Tiffy real hard.  No, I wouldn't but I'd go "WHHHHHHATTTT??!?!??!"

33. If you had to pick one cast member of Grey's Anatomy, which one would you be?
What in the hell is that?

34. What do you want when you are sick?
Hot chocolate and jelly toast by NJ.  I remember when I'd be really sick in elementary school, she'd make me that when I woke up.  It's that association thing I guess.

35. Who from High School would you like to run into?
Blonde Kelly.. Hmm.. I keep thinking of some funny things I'd like to do if I ran into the people that I didn't really WANT to run into.. but I pretty much already see the people that I'd run into..

36. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
My motorcycle is tuned into to kiss my ass radio cause I don't have one.

37. Stiffler or Oz?
Wizard of Oz, of course!

38. Norm or Cliff?
Hey, my mom's name is Norma!

39. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Hmm.. I probably watched more of the Cosby show when I was younger..

40. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back?
Getting bored and leaving.

41. Do you Like the Person who sits directly across from you at work?
Hmm, Chris is kinda uptight.  I think I freaked him out today by almost smacking him in the ass with a towel cause Eddie (boss) told me to.  James is cool.. we talk a lot, agree on most everything, work very well together and catch stick bugs.  Bonnie leaves early all the time cause she's sick or something.. (hmm) And Eddie is the coolest ever!  I have a new fascination with Indian culture now.. You know, I really hate it that they get SO much shit from the 9/11 thing.  Most humans are lame.

42. If you could get away with it who would you kill?
No one comes to mind.  I'm sorry I don't really have a vendetta.

43. if you could have dinner with a famous person who would it be?
Fuckin Gwen Stefani, who else.  (I GUESS little Kingston can come along too)

44. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Probably Leisha Hailey, Sarah Shahi or Bob Saget

45. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope, but one time Joy and Tiffy used one out of Jasper when the top was off.  It was like the bug man!

46. Last book you read for real?
Does the motorcycle dl manual count?

47. Do you have a teddy bear?
Only a blue bear that Zane gave me this past Christmas.  :)

48. Strangest Place you have ever brushed your teeth?
By gravel and a water spicket in the middle of cornfields in bushnell, il.

49. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
LA, San Fran

50. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
I'm starting a whole bunch of cool things. :)  Hopefully I will learn to follow through..
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, July 13th, 2006

Time:2:15 am.
Mood: awake.

It's weird how everyone goes their separate ways, and all you're left with is well.. you just start all over.


I talked to my sister on the phone today for the first time and in a long time.. She's about to have "Jonas" (baby boy).  Weird.  But she's funny, she was telling me jokes about ripping her underwear because she's so FFAAAT.  I love my sister.. when she's not being a mean jackass.  Most of the time she's just a funny jackass.  

Tomorrow starts my training for joining riding with the Emerald Coast Cyclists.  I'm pretty excited.  I've got to get in way better shape than I'm in right now though.  They don't play.  

I leave for New York in a few weeks.  Staying in the Bronx with Marisa at her friend's apartment.  That's such a relief that I don't have to spend the $700 I was going to spend on my hotel.  I'm totally coming up there with gifts.

So, something I'm also pretty stoked about... 
going into a REALL studio in a few months to record our new cd!  Like.. major recording artists have recorded there.  I'll give more details later.   

I think I keep finding that, when I'm thrown to the curb by whomever.. or shut off from most people/things, I get right down to business.  I guess I work well this way.. 
I just find it hard to resist romantic temptation.. 

Maybe I'll get lucky and my dreams will finally come true.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, July 8th, 2006

Subject:Highlights of EJ's job.
Time:7:12 pm.

Collection of thoughts about my job other the past month and a half....

- Once Bonnie and I were cleaning this Ford Taurus and I looked up to find a 3 inch long rusted nail hanging from the rear view mirror by some fishing line.  

My thoughts at that point (and I of course voiced them to Bonnie) 
Me: OKAAAYY, there's a fuckin nail hangin  from the rear view mirror!  GODDAMMIT, REDNECKS ARE FUCKING WEIRD!   
Bonnie: laughs.. 

-I had just spotlessly detailed this new Toyota Camry and was walking toward the old-to-middle aged lady in the red power suit walking toward me.. 

Power Suited Lady: [whispers in my ear with a strict, northern accent and hands me a 5]  Now put this in ya pocket and shut up!  [lady still smiling at me, though]
Me:  [looking very stunned at old lady, but obediently puts the cash in my pocket and runs off]  Thank you :)

- Today:
Me: [on lunch break, after eating a delightful salad, I walk over to the coffee and pour a cup, walk back over to my stool and hang out at the bar thing with a newspaper and "the cranberries" cd] 
Scary Biker Man:  [gets my attention]  You ride a bike (he's referring to a MOTORIZED bike.
Me: Yeah.. uh... how did you know?
Scary Biker Man:  I saw the burn on your leg.. Why'd ya ride?

Then we get into this half hour long talk about motorcycles and riding and bike fests and gas prices and dumb teenage girl drivers on their cell phones and ... well, it was awesome!

I've made my first scary biker man friend.  His name is Sam.  I feel that I'm allowed to go hang out at the Bayou Pub now.  

I came home from work and told my dad all about it, very excitedly.  He smiled a few times.  He secretly likes the fact that I have a motorcycle.  He does, I know it.  He just hates that his little girl is out crusading on it...that's all.

Eh, life is cool.  :)
  

Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, July 7th, 2006

Subject:You look like you're goin to a funeral..."maybe I am"
Time:10:41 pm.

Just watched "Walk The Line" again.  Man, that's a good movie.  I cry so much (well I hold it in mostly) but there are so many places where it just hits home and makes you realize stuff.

That movie makes me think about what I'm passionate about.. what I want.. need to do.

-I'm not going to stop playing music until the world hears me.. then I'll keep on playin, most likely.

The part where he says.. "What have I done? Just hurt everybody I know. I know I've hurt you..." just really makes me go DAMN.. I feel like saying that a lot.  I just have to try and make things right, you know.  That's all you can do I guess.  

I like the ending where it says June and Johnny recorded, toured and played the world together for 35 years.  That was sweet.. I can dream..  :)

Such a good movie.  Please go rent it.  I need to purchase it. 

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006

Subject:A fair warning for half nakedness
Time:4:16 pm.
Comments: Read 19 orAdd Your Own.

Time:11:50 am.
Ok, so those bitches on "Making the Band 3" can't sing at all. WOW..
Well, the little one is pretty good, I guess.

They are all trying to be Christina Aguilera (and I'm sorry but THAT bitch can sing like I've never heard before, DAMN). I'm happy she's trying to get out of looking like a hoe-bag and trying to get more of a jazzy feel. It suits her voice best and she come off as such a slut. Haha..
But seriously, she gets MAD props from me... and such a huge voice from such a small girl.

Ok, I'm going to go finish writing..

Yay for having enough songs to record a new EP now! :)


PS, I totally drank 32oz. of coffee with no sweat this morning.

Oh and I had been to the doc last week to get a physical, just to make sure I'm not dieing or something (I didn't think so but I was just checking) and I had bloodwork done -- courtesy of Mrs. Hankins (haha, Megan's mom stuck me)

And it came back normal! Yippee!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, July 1st, 2006

Subject:Fixing to go to work.
Time:7:34 am.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but sometimes I just really want to sleep in.

:/



In other breaking news:

Rach and I decided that if I see Kate Moennig in NYC, that I will be not star struck.. but vagina struck.


And that is all.

Now I'm going to drink 3 pots of coffee.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

Time:7:55 pm.
I heard on the radio today [about the fashion show at Destin Commons] that "professional makeup artist, Khaliah Jackson, will be there" working on the show.

So proud of her!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, June 26th, 2006

Subject:simply a look can break your heart
Time:8:10 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE being sober!

I also dig my job...

Today I told Eddie (boss) I was bored and he told me to check out the games on my phone, haha.
I opted for drinking coffee and talking about NYC with him. He used to live there and keeps telling me all of these sweet places to go see.

PS - Ok guys, I'm in love...

with my new camelbak! Yay for presents from thoughtful friends. I'm glad my friends don't want me to get dehydrated on a long bike ride.


Oh yeah, I'm off the crutches and my knee is better. WEEEE! I rode my bike for the first time today. It was awesome! :)
Comments: Read 10 orAdd Your Own.

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